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Why I hate being a woman

Why I hate being a woman
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Sometimes being a woman has perks, like men will open doors for you or you’re never expected to do an oil change. Hell, in my house, I’m not even expected to pump gas. It’s one chore that I hate doing so hubby and I made a deal when we got married years ago. I’ll do the dishes and he’ll fill up the vehicles. But sometimes I have to put gas in the car and sometimes hubby might have to wash up a pan, but it’s very rare that either of us has to do the other person’s “chore”.

I hate being a woman because…

womanI’m so sick of shark week. Like totally done with it. If you don’t know what that is, be thankful you’re not a woman. Seriously. It’s that annoying week that only comes once a month for women and with it comes water retention, cramps, bloating, irritability and cravings. OMG! Cravings out the ying-yang this week! That’s one of the reasons I created my peanut butter chocolate keto fat bomb recipe.

And when the pb chocolate candies aren’t enough? I go for my cheesecake and put some whipped cream on it. Yum! Can you tell I love my sweets? If I’m not all that hungry, I’ll just grab the whipped cream and sprinkle some cinnamon on it so it tastes like Mexican fried ice cream. Well, that’s what I think it tastes like anyway.

I think the worst part is that I hate the water retention and bloating. Normally, we weigh in on Monday’s but I felt so fat this morning that I weighed myself (plus, I’m a little paranoid about all the food I’ve eaten this week lol). The scale said I’m up a pound, but we also know that weight can fluctuate. I guess a pound isn’t so bad, considering all the bloat and water retention I’m experiencing.

The worst part?

I’ve noticed within the last year or so that when it’s time for shark week, I experience inflammation. My back hurts and my knees hurt, no scratch that, my knees burn! It feels like they’re on fire every time I move my legs. And last night, I was looking for my shoe so I got under the bed and twisted my torso as I reached under the bed to feel around, and I swear I did something to the muscle that lays on top of my rib cage. It still hurts, even now as I type this and I’m sitting perfectly still and this happened last night. Actually, almost a full 24-hours ago.

It was a hardcore Charlie horse right on top of my rib cage. I’ve also been getting Charlie horses in my back on a regular basis, too. If this is what getting old is like, I want no part of it. I didn’t sign up for this deal but what can you do? I’ve increased my salt intake to make sure my body’s holding on to electrolytes and I’ve been taking potassium supplements as well as trying to eat more green veggies.

What will next week hold?

Hopefully, I’ll be over all this shark week business so I can be a normal human being again. It’s weird, I always seem to bloat up and womanretain weight the week BEFORE I start so I’m hoping for a small woosh next week if the scale isn’t kind to me tomorrow. AND I wish I’d start losing some inches! For the love of keto Gods! Please, let me lose some inches.

I haven’t done much complaining much because I’m SO grateful for the weight I’ve lost (26 pounds as of my last weigh-in!), BUT I still cannot fit into any of my old jeans. I have a stretchy pair of 16’s that I’ve been wearing (which were actually kind of tight but are now loose) and a pair of size 18 jeans.

I’m so close to Onederland and I can’t wait to be there, but I don’t know how I’m losing all this weight and still unable to fit into a smaller size. I just want to get back into some of my regular (non-stretch) 16’s so I can begin working my way down from there. The bad part is I guess I’d gotten so fat and used to wearing my stretchy pants that I didn’t realize how big I’d become. My guess is that I was probably about a size 22 or maybe even a 24. It took me a while to get into those size 18’s that I just mentioned.

Oh well, hopefully, next week is productive but until then, I’m gonna try to keep my cravings under control. I’ve been on a guacamole and fat bomb diet. It’s not the healthiest but I’m a woman and can do what I want.

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